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First Time
Kevin always knew that he was different, even as
a young child he knew. Girls just never interested him for anything more than as
playmates or casual friends. He liked girls all right, just not like the other
guys did. He always knew that he was probably gay, but when you’re young you
don’t really understand all the feelings and emotions that well up inside of you
as you grow to adulthood. Showing affection??? Now that was something that Kevin
couldn’t even comprehend trying in his small middle class mid western town.
Besides, who would he show that affection to? For all he knew he was the only
gay kid in his whole school, and no one suspected that he was queer, and he
wasn’t about to come out where he felt that even his parents wouldn’t
understand. Feeling lonely was just something he was used to. He was certainly
looking forward to his first year at State U., sure that at least there he would
find others in the same boat as he. The first weeks of college life were hectic
to say the least, what with twenty five thousand students in one place was
overwhelming as well as exhilarating! This was the first time Kevin had ever
been on his own for any length of time, and he settled into a comfortable
routine. He even began to make a few friends in his classes as well as in his
dormitory. His roommate, Tom, was a freshman from Chicago, so many nights were
spent telling each other of life in each other’s home town. Kevin had to admit
that Tom’s stories were much more interesting than his own, and Tom seemed to
have plenty of tales to tell about the girls he had been with and the wild sex
they had together. Luckily for him, Tom didn’t really try to pry into Kevin’s
personal background so Kevin didn’t even have to lie about exploits with the
opposite sex!